Nothing like a Dame

Hi all

Just who is this Dame Ellen MacArther that sailed round the world on a flag! Is she Ellen de Generes or a cockney 'elen Keller. Talk about the blind leading the blind. What was the point of it. Apparently she didnt even have to plot a course or sail the stupid thing, it was all done by radar. Not exactly a cruise, she didnt even get a holiday out of it. I suppose she had to run up and down the deck in a soviet athlete sort of way, you could tell from her red veined cheeks that she is not an advocate of the three m's - moisturise, moisturise, moisturise.
Now, you have your Christopher Columbus who discovered a country while sailing,your Sir Francis Drake, who brought us the smokes and even Sir Walter Raleigh who turned us on to the delights of the humble potato,think of chips (french fries), roast, mash, hash browns, croquettes,t etc etc, a noble commodity. you have your turkeys, your pasta, your tea, all sailed to our door by brave folk across the high seas, so what's the point sailing a flag by radar and becoming a Dame, a pantomime dame by more like. Imagine all the rought weather, high seas, the endless My heart will go on, or whatever CD she was playing, the weatherbeaten skin and for what, no holiday, no produce, just a chance to shake hands with the Queen. Now I am the first person to support the Royal family and wouldn't mind shaking hands with the Queen, provided she gave me a nice cup of tea and a piece of cake, but to meet her just to get a small bit of tin and a silly title seems to me to have drawn the short straw. What do you think?